When people look at us, they probably think, ‘Aw, that lady has brought her retarded cousin to the park on this beautiful day.’ They look at you, with your crossword puzzle on your lap, while I’m humming, as violently as I can, the theme song to Rocky. Unfortunately, I have to be obnoxious, for reasons unknown. Genetics maybe…Perhaps, now that the sun seems to be back for good, I must amplify my being and all that I am; everyone in the park must hear the Rocky theme, and so forth…Please don’t feel bad sweetheart. I’m aware that my frantic feathers may be hard to handle, depending on the time of day or the light in your eyes. I’m aware now, how desperately your mornings yearn to be silent. But here now, it is the early afternoon, and my blood is acting up again; captive breaths seem to be rattling the scrawny structure of my being. Perhaps this cage doesn’t even belong to me. Believe me, I know; it’s all energy, and energy comes and goes.
We all have an urge to conquer, and you seem to have conquered that crossword. I wish I could’ve helped you, but very few blanks…What’s that? Forty two down…? Mordecai Richler Novel: Solomon ——– Was Here. Ah yes, great book! Gursky. Solomon Gursky Was Here. I did help you after all, I did help you! Would it scare you if I screamed? It has become even a finer day now because of Solomon Gursky, and the sun is definitely back for good, and people looking at us now must think, ‘Aw, she’s letting her retarded cousin help with her puzzle!’ as I return to banging my head and screaming the Rocky theme. Yes, screaming! Dunah nah nunah naah!
I’m sorry sweetheart, I’ll try to keep it down. All of this is really hard to explain, but we seem to have time; an abundance of moments waiting in the fresh field of grass beneath us. Your crossword is nearing it’s glorious end, and hopefully by then, the Rocky theme will have ceased to beat from inside me.
I knew this guy years ago. He’d frequent a coffee shop in my neighborhood. An intelligent looking young man, always hovering over his crossword puzzles, swinging from row to column, leaning back in his chair to light a smoke, then diving again into his sanctuary of squares. That was his world, and I often watched him, and I often wondered how exactly he saw the world…Was it one giant crossword puzzle? Was he always counting letters? When I met him once and we spoke, I was surprised that he was so human, and that he treated me as a human also and not just as a five letter word. He also had a very gnarly mustache.
Dunah naah, Nunah naah!
Hey sweetheart, check out that topless guy by the baseball diamond. What is he, tanning? People are weird, but you gotta love it. I mean, there are kids playing baseball, and this guy…Ha! I kind of wanna go beside him and yell, ‘Dunah naah, Nunah naah!’ and wish him a good day. Ah sweetheart, it’s great to see you laugh…Smile…Grin…Whatever; I’ll take what I can get.
Unfortunately, I have to be obnoxious to give birth to something new. I’m not out to scare anyone, but if I happen to provoke any stares of confusion, I will surely put them to rest with the sincerest of smiles; smiles of a retarded person. I’m loud, but far from harmful. Sweetheart, you do see my sincerity, don’t you? Something new is restless in my voice, can you tell? Sometimes I can’t figure where you are. Ah, crossword complete, the world is turning again, and that topless weirdo must be asleep for I haven’t seem him move for a while, and I can almost hear the distant echo of a school bell, and inside me, Rocky is taking a break, but I want to scream some more, or sing another song, be retarded in another way, but for some reason I am empty. Ah, but the crossword’s complete and the world is turning, and soon enough something new shall surface again. I hope something new, something soon, will make you laugh…Smile…Grin…Whatever; I’ll take what I can get.